based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
