i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
