I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
