I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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