it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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