This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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