This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
