You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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