i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
