It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
