Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
