It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize