Are we in a gay sports bar?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
