If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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