All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
