dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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