It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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