i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
