that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize