My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
