I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
