What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i think my cat just said my name.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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