i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
