Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
