I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
