i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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