im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
