Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
