There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
