you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
don't judge my taste in strippers
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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