make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
