oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
