yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
