I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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