Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
