is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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