My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
