so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Randomize
