so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
