ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
