just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
