dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
