tell your sister to shave her snatch
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
