Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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