Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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