After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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