I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
