somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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