Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
