when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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