I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
