its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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