you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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