haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
