And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
