Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
