Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
honey bunches of taint.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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