my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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