Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
