he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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