what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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