I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
