I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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